The bumper stickers of Haight-Ashbury

It is surprisingly hard to build a Theory of Bumper Sticker. What makes a good one? In polling friends and colleagues in recent months, the most common answer I have received is: “all bumper stickers are annoying.” Unfortunately, there is probably some truth in this, at least insofar as it reflects how far public opinion has fallen on the matter. But must we give up so easily? Must they all be written off? This seems like a puzzle Umberto Eco would have had fun with.

There may be no more fertile biome on earth to take up our inquiry than Haight-Ashbury, where this much-maligned art form is alive and well. In this way, as in many others, Haight-Ashbury is not dissimilar to those geothermal vents deep within the ocean’s trenches: life forms continue to evolve slowly and separately from the rest of the planet. Indeed, what we find in Haight-Ashbury is a bona fide potpourri of bumper stickers. Here is a collection of some of my favorites that I have spotted gracing the neighborhood.

If you have long-simmering thoughts about the subset of humor that transpires on car bumpers, kindly write to the webmaster. If you have additions to the repository—either from somewhere plausibly in Haight-Ashbury or elsewhere—submissions are welcome.

Visual proof (read: blurry photos courtesy of a broken iPhone camera) can be provided upon request.